Archive for 2006

star mile

its been quite the month

i apologize for not writing more, i did at least try a few times
i have to be in the right mood though, i dont want my entries to be too plain and i dont want them to just be my thoughts
because even i dont want to listen to those sometimes :p

my car broke a few weeks ago, it got fixed
i had problems with my laptop, they are getting fixed
my stomach was upset, it calmed down
my job was boring, my love life stale, i missed my family and wished for more friends
i started a new each morning and hit the hay every night wondering why i hadnt gone to bed earlier

but here i am a month later and most things are either the same or have come full circle
and thats just how i like it :D

christmas was different this year, and i didnt realise it until it was almost past
the weeks before i thought nothing of the fact that i wasnt going to be home for the 25th of december
i knew that i was going to be home a week later and that i would celebrate then

although its funny how things just sneak up on you
i got to work yesterday and i knew it was going to be a slow day, but i wasnt prepared for how empty it would be
the day dragged on and on, i got my work done, i ate the catered meal, i talked with a coworker about his awful marriage
i watched tv and waited for my shift to be over
and all the while… nothing felt right

jana calls, which was nice, we dont talk all that often and when we do its usually not a real conversation
she tells me about her day and how no matter the fact that she is with her husband’s family, whom she loves, the day is simply nothing like the christmases she’s known

and her subconscious knows this in ways her conscious may never

i realize that no matter the fact that i have tried to reason with myself and tell myself that i am not missing anything
my heart knows that i am

my memory looks at the calendar and doesnt recognize what is going on, it thinks that i should be sitting on the ugly green carpet of my parents living room with my family

and im not really a guy who is big into family time
i love my family, thats truth, but i very rarely crave time with just them
its never really been a precious commodity… but my heart knows better
it knows that i need that
and for what ever reason it’s a stickler for dates

so on this 26th im a little more humble about my emotions and am looking forward to coming home for a few days :D

dave

cant start, cant stop

sometimes i just sit at my computer, completely clueless as to what to do next

this one of those times

i have a few different things i could be doing. none of them are especially painful or things that i have been loathing.
most are related to what i love to do. and all need to be done.

but i cant start
i simple cant get into a frame of mind that will let me begin working on a project.
i spend my whole week looking forward to when i’ll have free time to work on the things i wish i had done, but its friday and i cant convince myself to work on anything.

its not that im lazy, the things that need to be done are enjoyable. but i still just cant seem to find the initiative to do them.

i often stop working on things when i am at a cross roads, when it seems convenient to stop. but mostly its just before i have to do something challenging.
and that makes it hard to start working on it again.

and while i guess cant my habits about when i leave work to be done later. that doesn’t change the fact that there are things to be done and i am so full of indecision that i cant start on a single one

bah

maybe i’ll just work on the thing im most puzzle about, so when i dont get anything done i can at least have a reason for not doing anything tonight.

mmm turkey sandwich

happy thanksgiving everyone

i know its two days after, but close enough

i myself, had a nice little thanksgiving, we had a few guys over and i tried my hand at turkey, which turned out well. my side dishes where a bit sketch but overall the meal was satisfying.
i worked in the afternoon and ate thanksgiving again that night, the station had a dinner catered for the people who had to work.
the day didnt stack up to previous thanksgivings that i had spent with friends and family, but it was fun.

i worked some overtime this week, which is nice because i have had some normal paychecks the last few pay periods and they look a bit different without overtime. and while most people have families and plans for thanksgiving its only right that the new guy, who didnt really have plans, works so others can enjoy their holiday. not to mention that the 23rd was double and a half pay, i’ll do most anything for $37 an hour.

friday was my only day off this week and i spent it running errands and doing a bit of shopping. i got two new shirts and a new pair of jeans. my wallet pocket on my favorite pair of jeans is wearing through a bit so i dont want to wear them to work anymore.
im already the most casual dressed person in the building, which im totally fine with, i just have to draw the line somewhere. i forgot to change into shoes again on tuesday and my boss pretended to not see my flip flops, we both know he did though.

on this day after the day after thanksgiving i’d like to give thanks to things that dont usually get thanked. i know i am a bit late, but i think certain things in life deserve to be recognized. i of course am thankful for my family, for my friends and for my health. although there are a lot things that dont get recognition, even on the holiday. so i now give you, the things i am thankful for.

the cathode ray tube
oh CRT, you get no respect these days. but i am thankful for your brilliant color and unmatched contrast ratio. LCDs might look better on your desk, but nothing looks better than a well calibrated tube. you can hold thousands of volts of electricity deep inside you for years after being unplugged and project x-rays right into the viewer’s skull but i dont care, your still really awesome… until other technologies catch up.

antiseptics
inspired by Pastuer, Lister published Antiseptic Principle of the Practice of Surgery in the mid 19th century and ever since antiseptics have holding it down for all of us. the foundation of modern sanitation these marvels are now mostly commonly found on our bathroom counters. while i have a disdain for the cousin’s of antiseptics that are in “germ killing” soaps and sprays i do love my self some listerine. antiseptics also made for a great topic of dialogue in donnie darko, and who dosent like that movie.

decent radio stations
lets face it, radio is fucked. newspapers will always have silly place in media and some radio stations will no doubt survive the 2000’s but for the most part radio is dieing. here in tempe i have been treated to not just radio i dont mind listening to but some that i actually WANT to listen to. a big thanks to radio stations that simply refuse to suck. to those who play music but not rap and those who have talk that invites you to join in.

pop culture’s love of nerds
fifty years ago (or at least so the movies tell me) nerds where a scarce yet hardy bunch. they socially inept, shunned by anyone “cool” and made to live mostly lonely existences. today nerds are adored by pop culture, gaming is almost kind of a sport and techie knowledge is both sought after and admired. nerds now not just the guys who fix your computers, we are your future bosses.

the mid dog
for the most part the members of my generation are not yet top dog and not everyone can be the under dog. giving thanks is best done while coining your own term, so i thank the mid dog. just as ben folds is looking out for the male middle class and while, the mid dog is the embodiment of all the people who are just worker bees. you goto work, you dont get much respect but you go back the next day because its what you have to you. thanks.

thats about it for now, i can only ramble incoherently for so long..
BSU won again and it looks like they are headed my way to the fiesta bowl, more on that another day

d

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