So uncertain it’s certain
| Pedro the Lion - Of up and Coming Monarchs |
There is one thing I know about my life, and that is that it changes.
I’m on a high about something one moment and lost about something else the next. I try to keep a pretty even keel but lately it’s been difficult.
I’ve got an interview… there is a lack of communication.
I’ve got time to work on projects… I have absolutely no motivation.
I make a decision… I talk myself out of it.
I feel so sure about something… I look around and have no idea what I’m feeling.
I don’t like it when my life resembles a roller coaster, I wish I could just sit everyone and everything down and just set things straight, but I can’t do that. Situations depend on more then just my whims… people don’t just do what I think is best… I can’t just tell her what to think.
I’m not trying to emo, I just want you to know that I’m feeling more unbalanced then I have in a long time. Not since I decided to get back in school have I been this conflicted, this diluted, this ineffective.
Despite my procrastination, work is getting done in my classes. I’m doing a lot of good work that should fill out the new demo reel I’ll be cutting this winter. So look out for that, I’ll have some stuff to post in the next couple of weeks.
I am looking at my travel plans for this Christmas but nothing is set in stone yet. I know I’ll be seeing my parents in Vegas but I don’t know if I’ll actually make it back to Boise this year. That’d be a very scary first.
This post’s soundtrack (facebook people don’t get that because notes are lame) doesn’t have a lot to do with anything, it’s just a song I love. Music always puts me in a better mood. Also, those Pedro fans out there will notice that this is the version from the Progress EP… the full title wouldn’t fit on the page.
David Hildreth
November 6th, 2008 01:57
Being emo is natural when you’re facing change, and that’s the problem when you run out of tracks, you either have to lay more or switch trains, and both take a sizeable amount of effort.
If you don’t make it home for Christmas, I’ll be sad, but at least I got to see you once this year.
As far as life goes, just be thankful it’s not static. Be thankful you’re not working at Arby’s living in your parents basement. Be thankful that though distance of all our friends seems to increase year after year, you’ve got people on all sides of the planet that would jump in front of a bus for you.
All in all, there’s no need to feel ineffective with what you’re about to accomplish, no matter what you decide to do with it.
Do what I do when I’m fearing change… go watch Good Will Hunting.
November 6th, 2008 09:36
Wow, Nick! Great comments! I agree with you again! I’ll just add that we are prayin’ for you David (Nick, you too). God has tremendous stuff instore for you guys!